Thursday, April 27, 2006

COACHELLA...THAT'S RIGHT...FUCKING COACHELLA

Half of Los Angeles and most of the left coast BLOG/Print/Music media world are heading out to the desert to spend 2 days and nights on the polo fields chasing after drunken indie rockers and doing that nasty thing called "Networking." I have decided to for-go Saturday's lineup and spend my day by a piano-shaped pool broadcasting for LittleRadio. Sunday though... IT'S SO FUCKING ON.

My past Coachella experiences have been somewhat nightmarish. 3 years ago I got left in the desert by accident (I wish I was making that up). Last year I got heat stroke because I forgot sunblock and spent 2 days hiding in a long sleeve black hoodie. Everything about Coachella irritates me. The parking, the blazing sun, the $4 water, the germ-factory tents, cannabis toting hippies, goth kids dressed in black trench coats in 102 degree weather, watching the main stage from a 1/4 mile away. But at the end of the weekend I always walk away with a few good experiences and a renewed love of music. I guess that makes it worth it.

Below is my Idiot's Guide To Coachella, followed by my Don't Be A FUCKING Idiot Guide To Coachella.

THE ROCK INSIDER'S IDIOT GUIDE TO COACHELLA

Sign up for text updates abt Coachella
figure out your Coachella Day Schedule.

DONT POINT OUT MY TYPOS UNLESS YOU WANT ME TO LAY SOME STANK ALL UP IN YOUR GRILL.

Guess what: COACHELLA IS IN THE FUCKING DESERT. Bring Sunblock (at least SPF 15) unless you want to fry like a christmas turkey. I would also recommend sunglasses, a hat, comfortable tennis shoes, layered clothing, ear plugs and pain killers. There is little shade on the polo field and vendors fucking gouge prices left and right.

Cell phone reception is almost non-existent at Coachella. I spent most of last year trying to coordinate with friends via cell phone with to no avail. Plan meeting spots and times if your traveling with a group. Make sure to have a specific meeting spot and time at the end of the day so no one gets left behind.

Water is expensive. Food Is Expensive. ATM fees are fucking expensive (2.50 cents last year) Bring Cash.

Parking is Free and Opens at 9 AM. Gates at 11 AM. Get there early and expect to spend abt an hour idling along Jefferson St or Monroe. There are some back ways into the polo fields from the indian hills resorts and further west at fantasy island. Note: by 2 PM Jefferson is a parking lot. Try your best to take any road but that.

Once you get in the Coachella lot try and park as far away from the gates as possible near the exits. Yes, you'll have to walk really damn far but at the end of the night it should only take you 10 minutes to get out of the parking lot, saving you abt 2 hrs.

WHAT YOU CAN BRING:
mid-sized backpacks , hats sunscreen, lighters, sunglasses, cigarettes, small beach towels, fanny packs, digital, film and disposable cameras (“non-pro,” which means it can’t have a removable lens).

WHAT YOU CAN'T BRING:
Absolutely NO FOOD AND DRINK, Musical Instruments, chains (including chain wallets), blankets, chairs, video cameras, audio recorders, animals.

THE ROCK INSIDER'S DON'T BE A FUCKING IDIOT GUIDE TO COACHELLA

Yes, you can bring in camera phones and small digital cameras. There are even a few good websites where you can upload pictures directly from your mobile device. But that doesn't give you license to shove your fucking tech device in my field of view when we're 100 yds from Karen O, it's 7 PM and you know the photo won't turn out.

Ladies... I know you're trying to "Look like soooooo totally cuute" but seriously a little less of this and a little more of this. Honestly.

Dudes, Mesh tank tops don't shield you from the sun. You'll end up looking like a checkerboard.

Only two people at Coachella who are allowed to wear leotards. Leave yours at home.

Booze and lower back tattoos don't mix well.

for any further views on what not to do watch the Coachella Documentary Trailer.

I shall post my line-up preview tomorrow but for now the only important thing you need to know is THE MAGIC NUMBERS PLAY ON THE MAIN STAGE AT 3:30 PM SUNDAY APRIL 30th. YOU BETTER BE IN THE CROWD.

.....oh and I hear some rapper and really hot lady named Esther are also playing.....Whatever......

COOL ON THE INTER-NERD:
Tapes N' Tapes have found a home/label. GvB has the scoop

Coachella Scheduler - Set Times are out and Coachella are making it easy to plan your way around the polo fields.

LittleRadio just posted up an exclusive interview with JAXMONSTER....I mean I mean....BirdJaxter......Jesus I'm fucking up here. BORDMONSTER?....ahhhh fuck how do you pronounce it again.....

TONIGHT IN LOS ANGELES:
Scarling, Helen Stellar, Black Black @ Troubadour
Koufax, Cordero, Petra Haden & The Sell Outs @ The Echo
Ghost Children, Holly Brook, RhoseislandMusic @ Tangier
Mecca Normal, Anna Oxygen @ Silverlake Lounge

JAX - The Rock Insider

Comments on "COACHELLA...THAT'S RIGHT...FUCKING COACHELLA"

 

Anonymous SMZ said ... (April 27, 2006 2:49 PM) : 

YOU ROCK!

 

Anonymous Joey the ____ said ... (April 27, 2006 2:59 PM) : 

About the weather, I'm hearing there might be a chance for rain...or a really nice breeze like last year.

See you there

 

Anonymous Joey the ____ said ... (April 27, 2006 3:07 PM) : 

Oh wait no, I was wrong, it is suppose to be hot. High at 97C and low at 66C

 

Blogger Bort said ... (April 27, 2006 7:50 PM) : 

Oh hell, I forgot to find sunglasses and a hat today. Agh.

Water's been $2 every year, but everything else is disgustingly priced, movie theater style.

So what bands are you going to see?

 

Blogger rocknrollstar said ... (April 27, 2006 10:51 PM) : 

You rock hype-machine neighbor!

 

Anonymous Anonymous said ... (May 02, 2006 1:01 PM) : 

Lame. Your phone obviously sucks, name me one music venue that doesn't charge a lot of money for food, water, etc. Check your negativity at the door. Sorry to rag on you, but this is a bunch of bullshit regarding coachella.

 

Anonymous Anonymous said ... (March 02, 2009 1:21 PM) : 

I would have left your ass in the desert too!! Hello..? I can't hear you were next to the stage.. My reception is going out!! Dumb ass.

 

Blogger freefun0616 said ... (October 19, 2009 8:21 AM) : 

酒店經紀人,
菲梵酒店經紀,
酒店經紀,
禮服酒店上班,
酒店小姐兼職,
便服酒店經紀,
酒店打工經紀,
制服酒店工作,
專業酒店經紀,
合法酒店經紀,
酒店暑假打工,
酒店寒假打工,
酒店經紀人,
菲梵酒店經紀,
酒店經紀,
禮服酒店上班,
酒店經紀人,
菲梵酒店經紀,
酒店經紀,
禮服酒店上班,
酒店小姐兼職,
便服酒店工作,
酒店打工經紀,
制服酒店經紀,
專業酒店經紀,
合法酒店經紀,
酒店暑假打工,
酒店寒假打工,
酒店經紀人,
菲梵酒店經紀,
酒店經紀,
禮服酒店上班,
酒店小姐兼職,
便服酒店工作,
酒店打工經紀,
制服酒店經紀,
酒店經紀,

,

 

post a comment